To: Barack Obama
From: Jake Vigdor, economist, independent citizen
Re: Petitions to secede from the union
Reports indicate that no fewer than seven states have submitted petitions with enough signatures to prompt White House review. I recommend that the petitions be responded to in the following manner:
- Alabama: Accept the petition unconditionally.
- Florida: Accept unconditionally.
- Georgia: Accept on the condition that the state take South Carolina with it.
- Louisiana: Accept unconditionally (but tell them to think about bringing along their friends in Mississippi).
- North Carolina: Accept unconditionally.
- Tennessee: Accept unconditionally.
- Texas: Accept on the condition that the state take Oklahoma, New Mexico, and Arizona along with it.
I'd recommend to the petitioners that they band together and create a new nation called "North Mexico." These actions will:
- Save the remaining United States approximately $41 billion per year, making a noticeable dent in the deficit. You are probably already aware of this argument, but it's not the only one.
- Yield a filibuster-proof Democratic majority in the Senate (50 of 78 remaining senators, counting the two New England independents).
- Yield a Democratic majority in the House.
- Instantly raise per capita income in the United States, supporting the claim that your re-election has sped the path to prosperity for all (remaining) Americans.
By coupling acceptance of these petitions with appropriate legislative action, the United States could also enjoy a one-time windfall by, for example, levying taxes on those expatriates (for example, snowbirds in Florida, faculty at certain private universities) who wish to return to their native country. Congressional action could also stipulate significant fees for those states that have second thoughts and wish to rejoin the union.
Secession worked out quite well for Abraham Lincoln's legislative agenda and it could work well for yours too. I only caution that the "door" to the United States not be permitted to hit these states in the proverbial "behind" as they exit.
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